Mom, the Street is So Many Colors!

Welcome to fall! It has officially arrived on our street, and actually, after the winds of today, all our trees might be "naked" tomorrow as Grant calls them.

Just a few weeks ago we were out enjoying the sunshine, walking through the park. They actually never sat still, I just took a bunch of pictures while they kept wiggling and this is the closest one I have to a smile pose. They did have snacks, but as you can see, those were long gone by the time I took the picture.

I feel like the permanent soundtrack of our house is "Anything you can do, I can do better... ." Between Grant and Logan, and Ollie and Toby, there is always a case of one-upmanship going on. This morning we had a lovely time in the basement playing until this started happening...

It is said that then Mom could be heard saying "I don't care if it is 41 degrees and windy, let's go outside!"

So we did.

Grant was happy to get dressed warm, especially with the gloves once I told him he would be able to hold on to his handlebars on his bike and ride faster in the wind.

Logan needed some encouragement as to why he had to put a jacket on that was twice the size of him.

He asked, Why do I have to put this on??

To go outside and play? OKAY!!

Grant had a great time zooming around our court. He learned pretty quickly that the piles of leaves in the street were slippery and he could do the ever-popular Hot Wheel spin-out in the leaves.

True to form, it took 40 minutes to get everyone brushed, dressed and outside to play, and about only 11 minutes for everyone to get tired, hungry and cold and want to go in. What time is it? Time for LUNCH!

Last week was a bit warmer, and while still windy, we could be out and about and enjoy the sunshine for a while. I started raking leaves here and there, and both boys were really interested in what I was doing. AND - we happen to have two rakes! How lucky is that?

Did the leaves get raked into any kind of organized pile? Mmm...no. Did many leaves actually get raked at all? No. But it was fun!

And yes, Logan at 16 months can somehow just one-hand a rake. Cannot wait until this guy is 16 years old!

Halloween

Thanks to Target's ever over-achieving of having the next holiday stuff for sale while you are still celebrating the last holiday, we had our Halloween costumes in late September. Last year, Grant was just not in to dressing up and had a great time with dad on the driveway passing out candy. Our court only has five houses on it, and we've started a tradition of all the neighbors sitting outside on one driveway handing out candy to the kids that come by. Saves the kids time, and we have fun hanging out with our awesome neighbors.

This year, Grant decided he wanted to be a dragon. He carried it around the house, he slept with it in his bed, he snuggled with it for cartoons, but on the actual day of Halloween.... well, we needed some encouragement to actually wear it to school for the parade.  We met up with our neighbors and walked around to 5 houses that night - it was 41 degrees - and Grant declared he was cold and ready to go home. We spent the rest of the night hanging out on the driveway around our fire pit, talking with neighbors, and handing out play-doh to the one group of about 15 kids that came by.

Logan was the cutest little X-Wing pilot, wearing Kyle's Lakers knit hat from college might I add. I call this a costume of geography, as in, when I grabbed Grant's dragon off the shelf at Target, this X-Wing costume was within arm's reach.

Grandparent Day

Grant recently had Grandparent Day at school, and we were so lucky to have Grandma Leona come out and play with us.

Grant was very excited to have Grandma Leona at school and happy to show her around the classroom and read books with her. Did I mention no parents are allowed on this day? The kids have a special singing program prepared and only Grandparents are allowed to stay to see it. Parents had to watch it online later that week. So much fun!

Of course, Grandma brought great weather with her and we headed off to the zoo. Most of the zoo was decorated for Halloween already, and we had a great time seeing all the animals and playing with all the different themes around the park.

One of the few seconds at the zoo that day where everyone sat still....just for a second.

The Universe is so Big - and I Made a Hat

Grant's class was learning about the universe, and when I picked him up that day, he was so excited to tell me all about the sun and all the planets that line up - oh, and "I made this awesome hat!" He wore his hat at school... he wore his hat in the car... he wore his hat all the way home, until...

We got to the grocery store, and he decided it was no longer okay to be wearing the hat. I think a few people winked at him in the store and he felt sef-concious about it so he took it off. I asked, Can I wear it? YES! So I did. I wore it for 30 minutes as we strolled around the grocery store and all the moms knew exactly what was happening.

They would say things like "Ooh, what a nice hat. That must be custom made!" 

I would smile and say thanks, but Grant would have the biggest grin. His chest puffed out and he was so happy everyone liked his hat, even if he didn't have to wear it. 

I will end with this picture, because to me this is what life and being happy is all about. A bib, a spoon (that you may or may not use), and a cup of chocolate pudding, all to yourself. Total happiness and joy, and a bath later.

Until next time, keep exploring! Love and hugs from our family to yours.

M, K, G, L, T & O

Family Fun and Day 5 Recovery

I will say this for having surgery and Kyle staying home for a week, the boys have never been more happy playing with Dad than these past few days. Thought I would start with family first for those of you who don't care about the surgery stuff.

The hardest part about surgery is sitting on the sidelines. I feel like I am watching them grow without me. Yes, it has only been 5 days, let's not get so dramatic. However, being forced just to sit and observe is SO different than being in the action. You catch things you may not see otherwise. For example, how a 3 year old Grant looks like he's going to be 15 soon sitting on the couch. That couch gets smaller every day.

Logan is a mover and a shaker. He is not crawling yet, although I won't say he sits still by any means. He is everywhere. He wiggles. He rolls. He scoots. He even grabs tables and pulls himself across the hardwood floor. His favorite thing of late is to roll off the carpet and get to the hardwood floor so he can pound on the wood. He gets the biggest grin on his face and just pounds as hard as he can to make noise.  No toy or dog, or piece of furniture, is safe.

Logan has 4 teeth going on 5. The bottom two came in together as a set, followed by the top 2, and now a third on top. He is very happy to bite and chew on whatever you give him... even if that means the ear of a dog who is sleeping unfortunately too close to Logan. Poor Ollie. 

Find the baby! This scene started out with all the toys in the basket and Logan sitting next to the basket. 10 minutes later, and this is what you see. The dogs are "taking a break" as well call it. We have a lot of "invasion of space" issues between both the kids and dogs, so every now and then everyone takes a break to have their own space.

Here Grant is helping Logan open his mail. Grant has caught on to the idea of sending and receiving mail, and loves to open mail. He opened Logan's card and read it to him, and then handed it over for Logan to chew on. 

Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary, which means we have spent more years of our marriage in St. Louis (7) than in California. Kyle said "let me make dinner!" Which really, you should always say yes to. He made a lovely dinner of steak and salmon, asparagus and oven roasted potatoes. He even set dinner on the island for us to eat instead of the table because he knows his wife can't sit down for that long of time just yet. We ate standing up, next to these two crazy kids.

Trying on his St. Paddy's day hat. Wasn't too thrilled, but didn't mind much.

 Grant had to get in on the action too.

Dinner was lovely. We had a fabulous dinner, the boys ate at the island with us, and we had Sinatra in the background. Grant ate standing up on his stool, which is one of his favorite things so he was very excited. Grant also helped Logan eat some baby finger food and drink out of his water container. He's turning into a great big brother. We danced around the kitchen and laughed. For being such a screwy week, it was a dinner for the memory books.

Yesterday it was close to 80 degrees outside, but only a few days before, the boys had to get bundled up to go play. Logan has taken to the little blue car like he knows exactly what he is doing. The very first time Kyle put Logan in the car, Logan stuck out his hands, grabbed the steering wheel and honked the horn. For those of you who were with us in college, Logan is wearing the same gray knit hat Kyle wore at Cal Lu.

Grant has a few different vehicles to drive around the yard on, but for slow walk with Logan he hops on Thomas. We are working on learning that you can't crash Thomas into your little brother, or his stroller...or the dog, or the mailbox, or Mom... It's a work in progress.

This happened just this morning. The picture above is Grant at 10 months. 

The picture below is Logan this morning, at 9 months. 

Both liked to scoot backwards across the floor. It is a good shoulder workout, but also leaves your hands free to defend yourself from the hooligans known as Toby and Ollie.

Day 5 Recovery

First of all, I went back and looked at the blog from before and noticed all my typing errors. I'm not going to fix them. I'm leaving them there as a sign of the times. I was typing for maybe 5-7 minutes, and then I had to get up and walk around the room for a bit. Then sit back down and type. Part of me really wants to go back and fix them, but you've all already read it, so meh.

I am also amazed at how many people have told me they had this surgery, or are going to have this surgery. My doctor did say it was "that time for this generation". Seems like every generation hits a point where a few start breaking. I did ask him if I can attribute my original incident to pregnancy hormones or working out or anything, and mostly he just said "Normal wear and tear. Be happy it happened when it did. You could have been alone in the grocery store."

And then I thought - or worse, NOT alone in the grocery store with Grant and Logan as I writhe on the floor in pain. I did tell Kyle, if it was 200 years ago and calling an ambulance was not an option, I would have been looking for the nearest shovel to just whack myself in the head with. Just take me out.

I did call the doctor's office on Monday to ask about my nerve pain in my leg. Like I said before, if this surgery was just about my back, I would high-five the doctor, declare it a success and be on my way. Instead, I'm calling about leg pain. Whereas some people have crazy leg pain before surgery, I was numb, so in my brain I am now rationalizing being "not in pain" before surgery to "being in UNPLEASANT pain" after surgery. Thankfully, the PA at the office I spoke with was actually in my surgery and told me that my body had started to put calcium around the herniated portion of the disc and the doctor really had to fight to get it out. So yes (in her exact words) "your nerve is probably really pissed off". I started a 6-day pyramid steroid pack yesterday and am already feeling the relief. Yes, taking too many steroids in your life will ruin you, but a 6 day pack to ease the pain is a risk I'm willing to take. Now, of course, the trick is not to do anything extra today. I feel the best I've felt in 5 days, but you can't run out and do cartwheels yet. 

After your brain, there are 3 main parts of your body that need to be strong, especially if you lose or break one of those parts: back, core, and legs. Everything I do now that my back is out of commission is being powered by my legs - except one leg is really mad at me. Just think of every step, every chair, every move you make you have to plan out and make only your legs do the work. If we were in boot camp I would say "turn off all your other muscles and let your legs do the work". 

If you have been told you need the surgery, think about your normal day. Think about when you stand up out of a chair if you can use your legs or need your arms to help? Also think about your weight. The human skeleton has made a lot of poor trade-offs in order to stand up erect, and lower back issues are a function of how we are built. Extra weight will slow recovery and not help at all in the future. Do I mean get as skinny as you've ever been in your life? No. But do I wish I was maybe 5 or 10 pounds lighter before the surgery? Life would be easier. I don't mean getting rid of muscle, because you need every little piece you can get for this to go smoothly, but think about it in a logical process. There is also no exact "all better" date. It's not like with a broken arm when you are 6 and they take off your cast and you are all better. Your back is a moving, functioning main piece of your skeleton. It is basically healing while you are still bending and using it. There is no magic date. For a calendar's sake, you are out at least 2 weeks, but don't schedule any mud runs for a long while. Also, every person is different, so for everyone who said they popped right back in to action - congratulations. I am very happy for you. For others, it will take longer. Healing is not a competition. The competition is between you and your brain to not let your body do what it thinks it can the minute it starts to feel better. Holding off is the hardest part for me right now.

I've had a few people ask about this surgery and if I would recommend it. I must say, it's hard to recommend as I am not in your body and can't feel your pain, but so far so good. As my leg was before, I could not function properly, my leg did not keep up with my activities, and all I could think about was in the future Grant and Logan would have the mom that "couldn't keep up", and no one wants that. I feel like I am on the right track to recovery. I will keep in mind it has only been 5 days and I still can't pick up a child until the 2 week mark. No exercise for at least 4 weeks, and as my doctor said "None of that boot camp business for 6 weeks until we know what your back can handle." I will say that you have to know your doctor, and you have to make your doctor know  you and your lifestyle. In our first meeting I told him I was thoroughly annoyed with my leg that it didn't work and it was slowing me down. After that, we each knew who we were dealing with. I do feel lucky to live in St. Louis for our past few family health issues. I feel like we live in this rare combination of an area where there are a ton of specialists (especially per capita it seems), many doctors who are great at what they do, many teaching hospitals, and every time we need help we seem to keep winding up with the right doctor at the right time. For that, I am thankful.

As my friend told me a few days ago, "Back surgery and recovery is not a sprint. It is a marathon. You are now in a lifetime of recovery, rehab, and rebuilding."

Challenge accepted. 

Until next time, keep exploring!  If you think you've missed a post or two, just scroll down and look on the right for the Older Posts link. 

Love and hugs,

M, K, G, L, T & O

Arts and Crafts and Back Surgery

Hello all!
Been a while since we've posted. I was going to go back and go through my list of things and pictures to blog about, but there's no way... so we are starting fresh! Here we go.

Back Surgery

To be specific, last Thursday March 16 I had a Lumbar Microdiscectomy L5, S1. Click on the link to take you to a text description. You're on your own to look up a video...although there are a few great ones out there.

This all relates back to my herniated disc from right after Logan was born. Or as Grant calls it- when the firetruck came to pick up Mommy. At the time, the ER docs didn't know it was a herniated disc, just a lot of leg pain. If you didn't hear about that story, click here and scroll down to "Tuesday, July 5. Finally settling in to a routine..." to read about it.

It has been 6 months after the initial incident, and I was not in pain. I had numb spots here and there on the back of my left leg and the bottom of my foot (from the nerve being pinched), and my leg was slow to respond. For instance, my right leg would sprint and my left leg would just try t keep up. I looked like a galloping horse of some sort. Either way, I was not in pain and had gotten used to working around a numb leg. This made it incredibly difficult to rationalize with my brain why I needed surgery. Yes, I needed surgery to release the nerve and make my leg work properly again, but the night before surgery when you are not in pain???? You start to rethink your thought process.

The short version of surgery is that you put on your fancy surgery gown, they knock you out, put a tube down your throat to make sure you keep breathing, flip you over and do a small incision in your lower back, cut off the part of the disc sticking out, sew you back together, flip you back over and you wake up. Easy peasy.

I tell you what, my throat hurt worst of all. I also learned that when I wake up from anesthesia, I am a crier. Full on tears for no reason. I heard the nurse ask Kyle if I was normally this emotional? I just remember needing so much water to drink and being sooo thirsty and my throat hurting - scratched raw like when you eat triangle tortilla chips and the corners scratch you as you swallow them. Once you wake up and go potty (proof yet again that most things in life revolve around going potty), you get to go home.

Here's how they send you home - big band aid, prescription for Vicodin and you can take a shower in 2-3 days. I must say, the actual back part of the surgery is not as painful as I though, and definitely doable. I can sit, stand, lay down, all for short periods. No bending over. Not that you shouldn't bend over, but that you can't, your back won't let you. If it was just the back, this surgery would be super easy. The problem is that your nerve is now released and needs to settle. That means twinges of pain down my leg that I haven't had pain in for the last 4 months. It's like a dirty mental flashback to the original injury. You just have to let the nerve settle. 

In the meantime, you sleep when you can, stand and walk when you can, and sit when you can. Sitting is the worst for me right now as it hits the nerve running down my leg and I get that pain all over again.  I've been walking around the house and am hopeful to go outside tomorrow. Toby and Ollie definitely know something is not right and have been following me everywhere, room to room. Last night I slept in the basement, as it is easier to sit up and switch sides to sleep on rather than roll over in bed. I had these two with me all night long. The first night I was home, every time I opened my eyes in bed, I would look at Toby and he was already looking at me. I think he watched me all night. When he saw me awake, he would talk to me with his low humming growl, and I would say "It's okay Toby" and he would close his eyes and go to sleep.

Sunday is day 3 of recovery - Thursday doesn't count as a day since you are mostly still screwed up on anesthesia and shock - and I'd like to say I'm doing well, although I would also not like to anger the karma gods. I did get to shower (YAY) and take off the band-aid. What is left is a 2 inch strip of stitches. Not so bad considering what they actually did to me inside. 

Over the next two weeks (and forever after that) is to get better. Walk, strengthen my core, eat right, no excess weight, and just work on getting better. I am the person who reads too much and watches too many videos before a surgery, and I did learn that walking is the best way to strengthen your back. Hold all your core muscles tight to hold your body together and walk. Legs, core, and back - the 3 main things that hold your body together. When one of them goes out, you rely on the other 2 to get you through. I also am not allowed to pick up any kids for 2 weeks, which is why Kyle took some time off. It worked out to be during Grant's spring break, so they are getting a lot of playing time.


Speaking of playing time, I saw this idea online and copied it for Grant. Kyle put it together, so basically I just bought the pieces.

6 potted plant buckets from Ikea  $0.79 each
Lazy Susan from Ikea - $9.99
Kyle screwed the pots on the Lazy Susan and I filled them with fun stuff and off we go! We have crayons and markers upstairs in pencil boxes on the shelf, but we were constantly carrying them up and down to the basement and back to the kitchen. This one stays downstairs in the basement on the table.

We've also been finger painting and dot-painting lately. Pulled out the arts and crafts tote the other afternoon to see what we could play with. We are in between napping and not napping, so some days we are tired, but we just need to sit quietly and work to rest our brains.

See the green tray he is painting in? $5 at Michael's. WORTH EVERY PENNY. Contains the mess. Should have bought more than one.

Glitter! We also had fun with glitter. Lucky for mom these glitter tubes had sprinkle lids (like spices do) so you don't dump as much glitter all over the place. Still....I think the kitchen floor got a full sweep and mop that night. 

Grant also has a blank book from his arts and crafts table. Almost like a journal, but a book full of blank paper. Fun to use with stickers as he will put stickers on the pages and then color around them later (pic above).  

If you have not heard of washi tape, this house has a small addiction with it. It is technically patterned scotch tape, used to make stationery, add to your calendar or planner, or for fun decorations. You can buy it Michael's, Hobby Lobby, Target... but Etsy.com is the place if you are looking for specifics. I use it in my family planner that I have and the family journal I just started keeping - those two can be their own blog at a later date.  I looked on Etsy for some fun washi tape for Grant to play with and found a roll of tape that looks like a road, and then a roll of tape that is really stickers of cars and trucks. We opened them today and he had a blast putting them on everything. The best part is, since is mimics Scotch tape, it comes off of most things. If you look up in the Lazy Susan picture, you can see one bucket that has tape in it. One tape is trains and the other one is dinosaurs.

Grant likes to type on the computer. Today we were talking about holding down the Arrow Button (Shift) to make a small "g" turn into a big "G".  He also thought my desk could use some cars and trucks on it. The washi tape roll also came with street signs as well. Funny thing is that it was from a Japanese seller, so all the street signs are in Japanese. No one has noticed yet. 

The hardest part about having surgery and not playing with the boys is exactly that - not playing with them. I feel like I am sitting on the sidelines literally watching them grow. Kyle put Logan in Grant's old car the other day and he immediately grabbed the steering wheel and honked the horn. I see driveway races in our future. Logan has 4 teeth now, going on 5. Whereas Grant got teeth one at a time, Logan seems to get them in sets of 2. He is so curious and aware of the world around him and super frustrated when he can't get to where he wants to go. He rolls all around the house and I keep thinking any minute he is going to start crawling. 

The family dynamics in our house are a bit like a science experiment. Toby stays away from both Logan and Grant, but will run out to the van every time I come home to make sure I brought home everyone I was supposed to. Toby will, however, pick and choose his chances to give Logan a kiss and get some formula off his face. Toby tolerates Ollie, but Ollie follows Toby everywhere and just wants to be near him. Ollie and Grant play and run, but Ollie will bring his toy to Logan. Logan has picked up the game pretty quick and will hold on to the toy while Ollie plays with him. 

Click here to see a video of Ollie playing with Logan. 

And of course, everything goes in our mouth. Ollie lost this round, but I'm sure there will be more. I am hoping to get back on track with the blogging discipline and write again soon!

Until next time, keep exploring!

Love and hugs,

M, K, G, L, T & O

Heart-Break

Today is Logan's official due date. Happy 5 weeks little man. We are so happy you came to play with us. AND, big high fives from your mom for arriving early so I wouldn't have to be pregnant through the hottest part of July and August. 

Quieter than the breaths on the monitor of the sleeping child,

Softer than the coos of the baby in your room,

Behind the snoring of two lovable puppies on the floor at the foot of your bed,

Beneath the restful sleep of an exhausted husband, who always makes sure his boys know he loves them,

In those last fleeting moments when awake turns to sleep,

When your eyes close and the exhale of restful peace takes over,

In that exact moment between being awake and being asleep, you hear it.

You can actually hear your heart breaking.

In order for a muscle to grow larger, it first must be used beyond capacity, literally ripped and torn apart. 

The rebuilding, the putting back together, the healing, the growth is what happens when you rest. 

That is what makes it stronger. That is what gives it the capacity for more.

Your heart breaks as the final letting go of anything else that matters in the world, 

as a release to realize there has become something in your life more important than the rest. 

A release of yourself before these two little people entered your life, and how you will never be the same, and how you’re better for it.

And the tears fall, not from your eyes, but tears from your heart, as if to wash away all the worries you could ever have, 

and prepare you for all the worries you never knew you could have.

So in order to become larger, to allow for more room, to contain all those extra worries and hand out all that extra love,

your heart first must break.

This may be the first time, but never the last.

I can’t think of two better reasons. 

Backlog of Blogs

So with Logan coming 5 weeks early, I have a backlog of blogs. However, if I was on top of my game in the first place, these would have been done.

I took more pictures of being pregnant this time around than with Grant, mostly because I knew it was the last time. Thought I'd share to show what we all already know, that it takes 9 months to grow a human, and at least 9 months to get back to fighting shape after said human exits the body. I am definitely not trying to be Princess Kate being photographed on the steps of the hospital just hours after giving birth, nor Heidi Klume who walked in a Victoria's Secret runway show 6 weeks after giving birth. What I will try to be, what I need to be, is a mom capable of keeping up with (and hopefully 2 steps in front of) 2 boys, who will, for the rest of my life, push the envelope, run me ragged, and strive to beat me at everything. That's their job. It's my job to keep up.

22 weeks

 32 weeks, all dressed up for trivia night. I will say, this is my all-time favorite maternity dress and I am sad to see it go. The funny part is the larger my stomach got, the shorter the dress became. Nothing like a pregnant lady walking around town in a miniskirt.

33 weeks - also, it is really hard to make a good smiling face while taking a picture.

34 weeks

This picture was lucky. I took the picture on the left on Tuesday, June 28th. After having Logan on Thursday the 30th, I took another picture (on the right) on Saturday to show 2 days before birth and 2 days after birth. If you read the previous blog, this is still a few days before the "firetruck incident". 

1 week after birth - and up and walking around after the "firetruck incident"

 This was taken in our friend's backyard at their Kentucky Derby party in May. 

Mom and Grant

Big Brother

Before Logan arrived, the weather was great and Grant and I were staying busy outside playing, trying to squeeze in the last of the "only child" moments before we turned Grant's world upside down.

 Lunch outside on our little picnic table.

 Learning to blow bubbles...and learning that Ollie likes to chase and pop the bubbles.

Spraying ourselves with water, which is funny because it is the same sprayer I use on school days to comb his hair and he fights me on it, but we go outside and it is the best game ever.

 Ollie snuggles while we play our counting fish game.

 We like to "paint" the driveway with water and brushes. Check out the wind in his hair.

 Morning snuggles.

Took him to the train store where you can play with the train tables and then beg your parents to buy you something. Yes, he played. Yes, we bought him something, and he slept the whole way home.

And no, I would never give you a blog without pictures of all our men. Here's one of my favorites.

Until next time, keep exploring!

Love and hugs,

M, K, G, L, T & O